Miley Cyrus: A Psychedelic Dream

Miley and her dead petz

Everyone who knows me, knows that I love Miley Cyrus. I think she is talented, hilarious, and just downright awesome. I  like her especially because she doesn’t seem to care what anyone says about her. We’ve seen her grow up under the control of the Disney money-making machine, and I think she is finally experiencing freedom and it’s awesome.

Now I am painfully aware that most people think differently about Miley. Fair enough. She is a little out there at times, and if you follow her on Instagram I’m sure you know what I mean. But to me, her Bangerz album and tour were honestly fantastic. It was fun, angsty, catchy, and heartbreaking all at the same time. And her voice was KILLER, as usual (if you haven’t seen her backyard sessions then I suggest you get on YouTube immediately). Miley is so talented and she could do SO MUCH cool shit with her voice. That’s why I was so excited for her to come out with new music…boy did I get what I wished for.

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past little while, Miley Cyrus released a new album FO FREE (cuz she don’t give a f). Great news right? NOPE. Once again, I LOVE Miley. I am 100% team Miley. I frequently wear a shirt with a picture of her licking an ice cream cone on it. So naturally, when Miley released this new album, I was hyped.

Her new album is called Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz. Yep. That’s right. DEAD PETZ. First of all, WTF. Second of all, the album cover is Miley Cyrus with her mouth wide open and glitter all over her face. You can be creative and come to your own conclusions about that…

The album includes songs like “Fuckin Fucked Up,” “The Floyd Song (Sunrise)” aka a song about her actual dead dog (RIP FLOYD), “Bang Me Box,” “Milky Milky Milk,” “Slab of Butter,” and “I’m So Drunk.” So my first question is, did she create this album while she was making Kraft dinner when she was drunk and high after a crazy night with glitter, in her house filled with the pets that are still alive? I’m not sure, I don’t know her life, so I can’t judge. The rest of the songs have similarly weird and abstract titles that I’m sure you could only understand if your name is Miley Cyrus, and you’ve just smoked a joint with Snoop Dogg. The whole album is basically a play by play of an average night with Miley Cyrus.

I do suggest everyone check out the album, just give it a listen and see what I’m saying. It’s definitely an experience. I just want to know who the person was that agreed with Miley when she made this album. Who was the person that said “Yes! this sounds spectacular! Just keep doing shit like that,” because I question their job credentials. Also, Big Sean makes an appearance in a song, which really just confused me even more. I think Miley is so talented that she could be doing so much better than this album. She could make music like the backyard session videos and knock Taylor Swift right off her golden throne (all hail Queen Taylor). But at the end of the day, what the hell do I know? Kraft dinner is a good enough reason to make a song in my opinion. You keep doing yo thang Milez, and hit me up next time you’re cooking KD.


This article was originally publish on on October 16, 2015.

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